Well, as you may know, I've been thrust back into the dating pool again. It's been a while but I'm starting to remember now that I'm not really very good at it. Frankly, I feel intimidated by the entire process. I always end up saying the wrong thing and in some situations it's all I can do to not ask 100 questions making the questioneer feel like they are in a firing squad line-up. So I sit there and chatter on about whatever stupid comes to my head and feel like a complete moron. I'm smart and interesting but when I'm faced with this situation, I feel like I come across as just silly.
One other thing I've also remembered is for some reason, I never actually go on any traditional dates. It just seems like I'm meeting someone for drinks, or going to a show, or just hanging out. Is it me or do guys just not do the "dating" thing anymore? Or perhaps it could be the guys I'm attracted to.... I've also been pretty quick to realize this person is just not what I'm looking for but I'm finding it hard to tell them. So I take the occasional obligatory phone call, fortunately I do have a pretty busy schedule which makes hanging out a bit difficult unless I'm willing to move things around.
I have always tried to enter dating with a clear idea of what I'm looking for in a man. It helps quickly weed out folks although at times I make exceptions - there has to be some real chemistry for that to happen though. Basically, I have a mental checklist of age, occupation (or rather goals, drive and ambition), humor level and basic attraction. I'm not looking for a calendar stud, I just want someone real that's not pretentious and able to talk about more than themselves. Unfortunately, one individual I've been hanging out with met some of the criteria but it was too late before I realized all he does is talk about himself. I've been having a hard time trying to get a word in to let him know he really isn't doing it for me. He also has a tendency to invite himself along to things, so before I know it he's crashing my plans for a fun evening to watch a band, or go to a party and hang out with friends etc. Basically he's got to go but I'm not sure how to approach it.
Which brings me to my point, I recently met someone that I do want to spend a lot of time with. That also intimidates me because I keep wondering if it's too soon or should I just ride the wave and see what happens. The real problem is I don't want to do anything wrong because I do kinda like him. I find myself wanting to spend a lot of time with him right out of the gate but not sure if that's a big turnoff. I want to get to know him a lot more and it's pretty cool although I'm completely freaked out about it as well because I have no idea what to do. I know there's not really a formula and I'm not looking at the "rules" but mostly I just do what I want. And if I want to call him and see him, that's what I do. I suppose I'll just have to figure it out and ask a lot of questions. I get a little shy and intimidated (yeah, ME) when I'm in the presence of a guy I like, even tongue-tied a bit. Well, generally that's why I end up feeling like a complete moron.
Basically, why the hell can't this be easy???
I woke up early this morning to someone pounding on my door. It was a King County Sheriff letting me know that someone went down the street early in the morning and broke several car windows. And yes, you guessed it the reason he was there was because my window was among them. It looked like they probably just drove down the street and smashed stuff, so fortunately nothing was stolen and there was still enough of the glass hanging on. He gave me the case number and went on his way. I checked it out and immediately went back to bed. I needed a little more sleep before I dealt with yet another thing.
As I was taping up the window and doing my best to clean up the area, I saw a Safelite van drive by. Apparently, coming to fix one of the neighbors who were also vandalized. I walked down, got the number from the van, and called them. Easy as that and I've got an appointment to get it fixed later this afternoon. Unfortunately my deductible is higher than the estimate so it will be an out of pocket expense - yippee!
I'm really looking forward to the weekend! (emphasis on heavy sarcasm).... I'm going to watch a movie while I wait.
I've been having some recent conversations with a friend of mine about our similar situations - both are in somewhat in a slump - and it occurred to me just last night that we are really the masters of our destiny. I know that's not really a revelation for anyone, but when you let things bring you down they will bring you down. When you feel like you've just had it, you're really only looking at it from the wrong perspective. Ultimately, I think it's something that everyone knows (in theory) but you also have to remind yourself that point and sometimes daily. Life is too short to worry about the small stuff. If I died tomorrow, would I want to go out feeling like this?
I'm done with this and I'm shifting my perceptions and my life towards a much more positive angle. I'm going to get stuff done that I've put on the backburner for so long and I'm going to ensure I wake up and go through the day with positive thoughts.
It really is that simple, isn't it? I'll let you know.
