The dating game
Well, as you may know, I've been thrust back into the dating pool again. It's been a while but I'm starting to remember now that I'm not really very good at it. Frankly, I feel intimidated by the entire process. I always end up saying the wrong thing and in some situations it's all I can do to not ask 100 questions making the questioneer feel like they are in a firing squad line-up. So I sit there and chatter on about whatever stupid comes to my head and feel like a complete moron. I'm smart and interesting but when I'm faced with this situation, I feel like I come across as just silly.
One other thing I've also remembered is for some reason, I never actually go on any traditional dates. It just seems like I'm meeting someone for drinks, or going to a show, or just hanging out. Is it me or do guys just not do the "dating" thing anymore? Or perhaps it could be the guys I'm attracted to.... I've also been pretty quick to realize this person is just not what I'm looking for but I'm finding it hard to tell them. So I take the occasional obligatory phone call, fortunately I do have a pretty busy schedule which makes hanging out a bit difficult unless I'm willing to move things around.
I have always tried to enter dating with a clear idea of what I'm looking for in a man. It helps quickly weed out folks although at times I make exceptions - there has to be some real chemistry for that to happen though. Basically, I have a mental checklist of age, occupation (or rather goals, drive and ambition), humor level and basic attraction. I'm not looking for a calendar stud, I just want someone real that's not pretentious and able to talk about more than themselves. Unfortunately, one individual I've been hanging out with met some of the criteria but it was too late before I realized all he does is talk about himself. I've been having a hard time trying to get a word in to let him know he really isn't doing it for me. He also has a tendency to invite himself along to things, so before I know it he's crashing my plans for a fun evening to watch a band, or go to a party and hang out with friends etc. Basically he's got to go but I'm not sure how to approach it.
Which brings me to my point, I recently met someone that I do want to spend a lot of time with. That also intimidates me because I keep wondering if it's too soon or should I just ride the wave and see what happens. The real problem is I don't want to do anything wrong because I do kinda like him. I find myself wanting to spend a lot of time with him right out of the gate but not sure if that's a big turnoff. I want to get to know him a lot more and it's pretty cool although I'm completely freaked out about it as well because I have no idea what to do. I know there's not really a formula and I'm not looking at the "rules" but mostly I just do what I want. And if I want to call him and see him, that's what I do. I suppose I'll just have to figure it out and ask a lot of questions. I get a little shy and intimidated (yeah, ME) when I'm in the presence of a guy I like, even tongue-tied a bit. Well, generally that's why I end up feeling like a complete moron.
Basically, why the hell can't this be easy???
